How to effectively manage anger

Anger is a complex emotion, often misunderstood and challenging to navigate. While it can be a healthy response to injustice or a signal that something needs to change, it can also become overwhelming, causing friction in relationships and personal distress. For some, anger is a constant irritant, leaving them frustrated and isolated. Others might struggle to connect with their anger, which can result in feelings of helplessness, depression, or anxiety. When anger is directed inward, it can lead to self-criticism and emotional pain. Fortunately, several therapeutic approaches offer effective ways to address these challenges.

What Is emotion-focused therapy (EFT), and how does it help with anger?

Emotion-focused therapy (EFT), developed by Dr Les Greenberg, is designed to help individuals process their emotions more effectively, including anger. It provides tools to manage both excessive and suppressed anger by exploring the deeper emotional states driving these reactions.

One of the key techniques in EFT is “chair work,” a process where clients express thoughts and feelings as though speaking to specific aspects of themselves or others. This can reveal unresolved conflicts, such as anger linked to past relationships or events. By acknowledging and processing these emotions, clients learn to respond in healthier, more adaptive ways.

EFT also helps people identify inner voices that suppress or exacerbate anger. These voices often reflect internalised beliefs or past experiences. Understanding their origins allows clients to reshape their responses, fostering a sense of empowerment and balance.

Can EMDR offer relief for anger issues?

Eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach often used to treat trauma, but it has applications for anger management as well. EMDR works by addressing the root causes of anger, such as past traumatic experiences, which may fuel intense emotional reactions.

Through a structured process involving guided eye movements or other bilateral stimulation, EMDR helps individuals process distressing memories and reduce their emotional charge. This can lead to a shift in how they respond to triggers, enabling a calmer and more controlled approach to anger-provoking situations. For those struggling with overpowering or explosive anger, EMDR can strengthen their ability to maintain composure and access more constructive forms of anger expression.

How do CBT and DBT address anger?

Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) both offer practical tools to regulate emotions and manage anger.

CBT focuses on identifying and changing unhelpful thought patterns that contribute to anger. For example, a person might assume that others are deliberately trying to provoke them, which fuels frustration. CBT helps individuals reframe these thoughts, reducing their emotional intensity and fostering healthier responses.

DBT, on the other hand, emphasises skills for managing intense emotions in the moment. Techniques such as mindfulness—being present and observing one’s feelings without judgment—can help people pause before reacting impulsively. DBT also teaches strategies like deep breathing and grounding exercises to de-escalate emotional arousal, providing space to respond thoughtfully rather than react explosively.

Why is a holistic approach important?

Anger is often deeply rooted in personal history and unresolved trauma. A trauma-informed approach, which integrates EFT, EMDR, CBT, and DBT, offers a comprehensive path to healing. By addressing both the emotional and cognitive aspects of anger, therapy provides individuals with the tools to understand their emotions, manage triggers, and develop healthier ways of interacting with others. Whether anger feels overpowering or difficult to access, these approaches can empower individuals to take control of their emotional well-being.